This piece was written for a competition. It is supposed to be a children’s tale in not more than 1000 words. Please read through carefully, and please take some time to respond and provide feedback. I would really appreciate responses and feedback. The link to the competition is-
“The thorny green brambles grew and grew, till they pricked her fingers and her feet. And among them, the blood-red buds were slowly spiralling open too, into scarlet roses, that brushed her hands with thorns, when she tried to touch them. She felt a sudden pull from behind. When she looked back, her her long golden hair was twisted and braided neatly- not tangled at all- with the thorny green vines. She gasped in surprise as the brambles slid round and looped around her hands and her legs. But they didn’t hurt anymore. She only watched her magical transformation, while the world around her was engulfed in silvery magical sparkles. So she never saw the changing world, spiralling slowly into another realm around her. Slowly, and mysteriously, the world around her vanished. It all merged into a silvery blur, and she gasped when she saw it happening around her. This was such magic as she had never seen before.
She still had a long way to go before the curse took it’s effect. She wasn’t sixteen yet, only thirteen. Her aunts had told her about the curse, only she knew that they weren’t supposed to reveal it to her. She wasn’t supposed to know her own fate. Her aunts just now had been with her now, and now the whole green forest had changed into this blur. She shouted for her aunts. They had magic, of course they could do something.
“Aunt Flora! Where are you?”
No answer. Silence. The world still kept spinning.
“Aunt Merryweather? What’s happening?”
“What is happening? Oh, I’m scared! Just answer me, please!”
There was silence yet again. The world of the green forest and the brown squirrels with the tall trees had all vanished into this unfamiliar silver spinning magic engulfing her. She wasn’t on the forest floor anymore. She was sitting on the same silvery sparkles, and there was nothing. But the brambles with the roses kept growing, and growing. And growing and growing, until it was spinning endlessly. Or was she spinning? The world seemed nothing but silver magic, and she closed her eyes.
She was aware of the fact that she was on the floor, lying on her back. Her vision was still too vague to make up her mind fully. Her sight sharpened, and focused onto a face. A face, beautiful, but yet evil, with a cruel thin-lipped smile, and magic filling every other deformity. Her eyes widened. This was that face, which she had seen once as an infant, but still remembered. By the word of her aunts, this was the evil fairy, the cause of her curse. This was Maleficent. She sat up hurriedly, and then remembered the brambles, the sparkles. But the brambles were no more, not on her hands and feet, not braided in with her hair. Her dress was resplendent, with no tears or marks of brambles. Her hair was braided into a long, long braid of purest gold, and pink shoes were on her feet. This was not how she had been in the forest. Then where was she now? She looked around herself, still aware of Maleficent’s piercing gaze. There were stone walls. Candles and lanterns hanging. There were only two other persons in the room besides herself. Maleficent, who was noticeable everywhere, despite the questions clouding Aurora’s mind. And the other . . her gaze fell on a young boy beside her, on the floor like she was. But he hadn’t woken up yet, like she had. He was dressed in a prince’s clothes, and a sword hung at his waist. His brown hair seemed tangled. Maybe Maleficent had the same intentions for both of them. That was when Maleficent stepped closer.
Maleficent’s horned black headdress looked menacing. Her thin red lips curved into a dangerous smile. Her long black robe reached the ground in an elegant fashion. She stepped forward, and put a sharp-nailed finger to Aurora’s chin, and lifted her head to her own face.
“Aurora, finally. Or should I call you Rose?” Danger and powerful, evil magic was even in her voice.
Aurora wasn’t daunted. She looked back at Maleficent, and shouted- “Get away from me!”
Maleficent laughed, a vicious and mocking laugh. She then raised her staff in her other hand. The same silver sparkles swirled in it’s glass orb. With panic rising in her heart, Aurora swiftly grabbed at the prince’s sword. She raised it high, and before Maleficent could stop her, Aurora drove the blade of the sword right through Maleficent’s heart. Relief washed over her momentarily, before she saw Maleficent rise up again. She was smiling no more. Bloodthirsty hatred shone out of her black eyes.
“You didn’t think that would kill me, did you now?” said Maleficent, her voice soft and rippling with danger.
“Why not?” said another handsome and deep voice from the room. Aurora looked around. The boy was awake.
Maleficent’s smile was back.
“Well, Phillip. Or Prince Phillip? Obstacles like you, are not worth my time.”
Suddenly, Aurora was blinded by three very glowing balls of red, blue, and green. They slowly expanded, till Aurora’s aunts were there. Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather. Maleficent looked disturbed. Flora suddenly shot out a beam of light that blinded Maleficent. Fauna placed a magic shield in front of Maleficent’s crystal orb. And Merryweather directed a beam of blue magic at Phillip and Aurora. In a swirl of silver sparkles, Aurora was back in the forest. A squirrel bounded up. She put out her hand to touch the little creature, but it went to something else beside Aurora. She looked around. Phillip was there too. But no Maleficent. “